It's hard to be in another state away from your family and friends when tragedy strikes back home. You feel as though your hands are tied behind your back with no way possible to help your loved ones when they need you the most.

I screamed at God this past week. I took a day to be alone, by myself, my music, and my car. We drove the Blue Ridge Parkway up and down, pulling off at the most pristine panoramic mountain views. I had a picnic by myself. I sang Taylor Swift a little too loud. And after fighting it, I finally silenced the music and cried out. Countless things have been swirling around my head lately. I'm overwhelmed with it all. So I cried out to my Creator. I was honest about how angry I am, about my fears, my hopes, and with windblown hair and tear-stained eyes, I felt closer to Him than I have in a very long time. Through the silence He whispers, "I'm holding you. Cling to me."

A week has past and honestly no problem or trial in my life has improved; if anything I've gained a couple more or the ones I had have gotten progressively worse. Still He whispers, "I'm holding you. Cling to me."  Knowing Christ doesn't make my problems nonexistent, but He holds me through it all, and that makes all the difference.

 Unexpected work.
I went into this summer job not knowing too much about it. I knew I was going to be outside most of the day and that's honestly all that mattered. This job has turned out to be one of the, of not the best job I have ever had. I enjoy the team I work with and we all get along well. I never knew ziplining, rock wall climbing, and ropes course instructing could be this much fun.
 Unexpected lessons.
I've learned so many lessons about life just over these past one and a half weeks. I've learned how to be a better leader, a better listener, a better encourager, and I've learned more about totally embracing who I am as a person.


The Lord has been reminding me that my worth isn't found in my GPA, college degree, or any accomplishment, my worth is found in Him alone. In Christ alone, my hope and worth are found.

  

As I sit in my Yellowstone dorm room drinking a steaming cup of coffee my mind goes to all the highlights of the past weeks and all the things the Lord is teaching me.


Last week my team and I, with blankets in hand, went stargazing. In between the moments of work talk, and "hey...we live here" 's, there were moments of complete silence, moments of awe, moments of silent worship to our mighty Creator. Stars are one of my favorite things. They fascinate me, mesmerize me, but most of all make me think of my Lord. They make me realize how small I am in comparison with Him. They make me remember that I serve an all-powerful Savior. And when I see 10 shooting stars in less than an hour I don't make a wish, but praise the Lord for this beautiful place I am allowed to serve Him in.



He has also been teaching me a lot about what it means to be His missionary. Missionary work isn't always third-world countries, or in the trenches of the amazon ministering to an unreached people group. Although I have the utmost respect for those that He has called to live that life, I personally have been called to stay here at "home" in the US for now. (I am speaking to my myself when I say this) God has called every one of His followers to be a missionary to those around them. One of the main things that He is teaching me this summer is that building relationships with unbelievers and showing His love to them is the biggest form of  ministry. I was able to share my testimony, the creation story, and the salvation story with two of my coworkers this past week. Sadly, I realized that this was one of the first times I've ever been able to share my testimony with an unbeliever. I was appalled at myself. At college I am given a whole semester to connect with my classmates and share the gospel with them, but is that ever my top priority? I can feel the Lord molding me here, and chipping away at the fear, and selfishness that have taken over my life. I have a new-found desire and excitement to share about my faith and share the good news of my Savior!




I am building relationships with not only my co-workers, but also my ministry team members. We have really become family and treat each other like we're siblings. God hand-picked each one of us to perfectly fit with the others. We balance out compelety with personalities, likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses. When we have the day off we all are more than happy with exploring new coffee shops, used book stores, and the local thrift shops. My team isn't afraid of hard work and we all have one goal, to spread the love of Christ. I am so blessed to be surrounded during this draining (but fulfilling) summer with like-minded individuals that sharpen me.

Travel is something that I crave. I crave the unplanned pit-stops to see the lame touristy places, or a place that is a little off the beaten path. I crave the gas station snack runs and car karaoke. I crave new places, new faces, and new culture. My craving was filled, for now at least, this past week. 

"Have you ever been cliff jumping?"

"Yeah..."

"This is like that. You're going to be scared to death at first, but after you jump you're going to be so glad you did."

This was a recent conversation I had with a friend of mine about my summer plans. (This is also where my word of the year, fearless, started becoming vital to learn.) I'll tell you about all that, but first you need to know where it all started.



This past summer my family and I visited several national parks out west. Glacier, Yellowstone, and Rocky Mountain, just to name a few. I loved every minute of our ventures! Being in those massive mountains brought me to my knees in awe of my mighty Creator. While we were in Glacier we decided to attend a worship service that was being held in the lodge we were staying at. Initially didn't want to go, but I followed my parents wishes. We attended a small group of about 10 people or less that was led by three college-age kids. They led us in worship, read scripture, and one of them told how God has been working in her life recently. After the service I felt led to talk to them. I introduced myself to one of them and told him how I understood what it is like being in front of people (because I used to be on staff at a summer camp), and that I thought he did a great job leading worship. When our little conversation came to a close and I went to walk away I heard one of the girls from the three say "Hey!". I stopped, turned around and she started asking me all kinds of questions. How old I was, where'd I go to school, and so on, After learning a little about me she strongly suggested that I apply to work with their organization next summer. This was the first time I had ever heard of "A Christian Ministry In The National Parks" or ACMNP.

ACMNP is an organization that works to share the gospel with visitors and staff of national parks. They put on worship services on Sunday mornings in the parks and work to minister to the visitors. When you are involved with ACMNP you live and work in a national park earning a paycheck, but during your time off you serve the people of the park.

After learning this, I returned to my parents and told them about the things these college student worship leaders had told me. I decided that I would pray about it and look into it more when I returned home. My parents thought that was a great idea. After much prayer and countless emails exchanged between one of the worship leaders I had met, I felt called to work with this ministry the following summer.

When I moved to a new town for college a lot of the friends I was making had been involved with ACMNP in some way. Which was also I God thing to be able to express my hopes and fears about the coming summer with seasoned veterans.

After applying for ACMNP, I quickly began to fear the unknown. Fear flying (because I've never flown before), fear of being alone (because I would be going by myself), and fear of funds (because travel isn't cheap). This is when my ACMNP veteran friend gave me the pep-talk that I started this story with. She compared this adventure I am about to embark on to cliff jumping. Which is possibly the best example to describe what this is like.

There were a few problems and I learned that the parks I wanted to go to weren't going to be able to take me. I was crushed thinking that maybe this wasn't what I was suppose to be doing after all. After about a week of talking to the organization and straightening things out I finally was placed...